Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
