the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
