This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
