Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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