I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
