if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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