I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize