This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
