i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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