I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so let's talk penis.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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