she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
