Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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