New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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