I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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