I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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