do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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