Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
