she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
