I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
