when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
