This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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