dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
