Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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