woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
