he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the day after is always just damage control
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
