So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
