i just had sex bonerless
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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