thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize