Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Boobs are out for the taking
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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