I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize