btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
