I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
