??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
