god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm always down for nudity.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
