She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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