He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
