Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
