You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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