I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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