your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
