that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I puked a lego.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize