He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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