I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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