At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
