I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
