the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I intend to get homeless drunk
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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