We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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