It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
