How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
