Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
