Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
