Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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