Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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