You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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