So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize