Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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