Tell her she can't have a vagina
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
