first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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