Where did you get a picture of my penis
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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