Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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