I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
