I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
