Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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