Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
