I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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