Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
