Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
