all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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