yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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